yeah, go ahead and laugh, but what about feelings...

Thought i was gonna have the normal day with my friends.
But too bad, its terrible.

It started with some tease here and there to me, but i realise its too much.
One of my friend got this couple problem on the spot, and i tried my very best to help settle things down, and after that, its ok. But the teasing gets more and more. After meeting one friend after another, the teasing got worse. Its like the whole bunch vs me. What the hell????? I was all quiet. And they started. What the FUCK!!!! How can i not be angry and irritated????? Whats more, i didnt get any sleep yesterday. Imagine how damn tired i am. Whats more, i was worried the whole day about my girl. She told me she went to the library, ALONE. Its wierd u know, coz i know her. She wouldnt go somewhere alone. Its either with me or friends. But its just wierd when she say she went alone. I began to suspect something but trust is trust. And this strong trust got me strongly worried bout her. Everything bout her. Her safety, her loneliness, and maybe even.......betrayal of trust. Its such a bad fucking day.

And they say i'm EMO. I'm like this, i'm like that. But thats me when i'm holding my patience.
Its such a bad life.

Sometimes, i wish, when i open my eyes the next morning, i'm alrdy in marriage life. Coz each person one day will have to lead their own life. U get wat i mean.....

Yeah, jokes are funny, laughters are joy, but what about feelings???
It hurtz

5th November 2007

Tomorrow will be my final day of 'O' lvl.
Its gonna a BOM!! O lvl ends!!! WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!


But still, i got no confidence in my results.
I studied but no luck, what i studied never came out.
But nvm, insyaallah can pass.

Anyway, here is wat happen for the past few months:

-Hang out with friends
-Hang out with her
-Hari Raya!
-Hari Raya concert!![i perform silat, hehe]
-O LVL!!!!!!
-Went shopping with a few friends[But i had to leave out my blazer, not enuf $$$$, ARGH!!!]




Wonder where i will go.
Hopefully, Poly.
NYP, TP, SP.
CCA will be of course, Silat.

Oh yeah, after o lvl. I'm gonna work and earn some cash to help out my parents. Of course, spend some for myself.





well, will be typing again.




Take care all



sHaZnI=)

9 August 07[What an incredible day!!]

Yeah, it's Singapore's 42nd birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!


Got up with laziness this morning. Check my handphone.
I was hoping i could get my 'friends' smses as, you know, its national day and we probably hang out, but, yeah, none from them.

But there's an invitation from 'her'. Heez :))

She ask me whether i would want to go see the fireworks later in the evening with her.
Of course i said I would love to. U think i'm gonna sit at home, bored to death??NO WAY!

Anyway, got ready, met her, and together we go. It was crowded back there. One thing i really hate is those men whose eyes were so pervertic. [U know wat i mean] Even if they 'look' at my female friends, i would really want to kick their ass. But better not start the cause. Better to just to give them an 'eyes-off!' warning stare. I did that and they really stop it. Good for them to stop doing so coz if i'm pissed, i think thats probably it for them. I mean, after all, all guys out there, who like it?? right? Guys, u'll probably do the same thing i did, or maybe, just straight away show them your fist. Hahaha...

Anyway, i really enjoyed seeing those fireworks. It was like AMAZINGLY WOW!!! Its been about 2 years i've seen a 'live' fireworks. And being there with her, it feels, sooo at ease and unlonely and, her presence makes me feel light. Dunno why....

Well, it was really great today. I really enjoyed myself. Thanks lotz to her! ;)

Well, thats my day. HAPPY 42nd Birthday Singapore!!!

Till then,
see ya'll next time.


sHaZnI=))

Independence x2 Begins!

I was independent

We were one pendent

We were like brothers

But it took control of y'all


We use to hang out, play some games together,
We use to study hard together, teaching each other what we can,
Come my place and chill, keep talking bringing smiles,
I no fear loneliness, coz i thought i got y'all,
But damn right, it was just a thought,
They left me alone all by myself.
Thought that y'all be there like i've had been for y'all,
But where y'all? Y'all had gone. Where?
To party
To chill
To hang out like we did before
Now, we all talk like nothing happen
But it's just ain't the same, y'all rejected everything from me
Y'all rejected my invitation to my party
Rejected my presence
Rejected everything that i had in me

What did i ever did to y'all?
Did i ever hurt y'all?
If yes, tell me, coz i'm sure that i never done it before

Since y'all left, i got no one else.
Theres only one person that will accept me.

I've been independent before, now, its twice of that.....



-peace-

My Birthday

Well, it was a great day

some minor problems but i'm happy =)




All my friends, thank u for ur wishes



But sad among some 'them', only one wish me, haih.....but its ok. I'm happy=)



Well, happy bdae to me



hehe






sHaZnI=))

Almost 5 years now

We've been there for each other

I've been there for all of you

Cant u remember the times that i'm willing to fight for all of you

Cant u remember the times we study and play and hang out together

Cant u remember?

Why all of a sudden?

If u hate someone else, why do u hate me?

U've known me for almost 5 years now, would i be that evil????

How can i tell all of u the truth if u had believe the untrue?

One of u are close to her, and i didnt even say anything even if it hurts to know that it happens after what i've been trough.

Whatever it is, i cant force

They have the right to follow their own path.

Whoever they believe, its their choice.

But one thing's for sure, they heard the untrue.
Some of the small things might be true, but the big things they hear are really untrue.

I know right now they treat no more a friend

But i still treat them as one. In my world, once u leave, footprints left behind became memories. I will forever know u all

And now that, they treat me no close fren, who will i go to?
Yeah, i would go to the one that is supporting me all the way right now
Its not my fault
They left me
She didnt

Kehidupan

Kehidupan….
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Tetapi
Sejak sesuatu berlaku
Kehidupan ku bertambah gelap
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Semuanya ditiup sang bayu
Keseoranganlah aku
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Aku berasa aku ketinggalan
Sangat ketinggalan
Mengapakah mereka tiada disisi seperti dulu
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Mengapa
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